Should this former Deloitte accountant become a doctor?

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One of the key attributes of finance and business people should be ethical behaviour. Note that I say “should be” as not everyone seems to agree with this approach.

Former Deloitte UK employee Nahied Kabir seems to have a slightly different view of what is acceptable in terms of ethical behavior.

Here’s a quick multiple choice question for you to see how ethical you are compared to Mr. Kabir.

Question – You’re struggling a bit with your professional exams and your employer’s policy is that if you don’t pass your exam within 2 attempts you’ll lose your job. Do you:

a) Focus your efforts on passing your exams. Or,

b) Focus your efforts on forging two doctor’s certificate.

Now, in my opinion (and hopefully in your opinion as well!) the correct answer is (b) (a).

Alas for former Deloitte employee Mr. Kabir he chose option (b).

In summary, Mr. Kabir failed an exam twice and at a meeting to discuss terminating his employment contract with Deloitte he produced a forged doctor’s note.

Deloitte let him sit the exam again and he passed this time. He then had a further 3 exams to sit and you guessed it he failed all 3.

At the next meeting to discuss things with Deloitte he claimed that he failed due to the ill health of his mother. He then produced a second forged doctor’s note from another doctor claiming his mother was suffering from ill health.

Proving that as well as being a pretty rubbish accountant he was also pretty bad at forging letters, the forged letter from the second doctor was exactly the same as the forged letter from the first doctor with the exception of only 4 words!

It’s probably no surprise to you that Mr. Kabir is now no longer working with Deloitte and the accounting body he was sitting his exams with (ICAEW) have published their report on the disciplinary action they took against him.

Again, it’s probably no surprise that he was “declared unfit to become a member of ICAEW”.

There’s no news yet whether Mr. Kabir is planning a successful career as a bank note forger…

It doesn’t matter how good your answer is, if the markers can’t……

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It doesn’t matter how good your answer is, if the markers can’t read your handwriting you won’t get the marks. It’s as simple as that.

As well as having the requisite technical knowledge students must have the necessary exam technique to ensure a pass. One of the more common complaints from markers is that sometimes the handwriting on exam scripts is so bad that they simply cannot read the answers. If they cannot read the answers then they cannot give you any marks.

Whilst it’s probably a bit late now to radically change your handwriting style, there are some simple steps you can take to make your script more readable. An easy one is to leave a gap between each paragraph. This breaks up the text on the page so that it doesn’t look too cluttered and will be easier for the marker to read.

Another point is to practice writing answers under exam conditions. Some of the papers are “written style” papers rather than a numerical one so you must get used to writing under exam conditions. The last time you probably wrote for 3 hours was at the last exam session! Everybody tends to use computers more and more these days and it’s relatively unusual to be writing significant amounts by hand. Practice writing answers under exam conditions and then give your answer to a friend or family member and see if they can understand it!

This was brought home to me the other day when I was talking to my niece. When I mentioned that as a child I used to write notes to fellow students and pass them around the class, she looked at me as though I was a dinosaur. Nowadays they don’t handwrite them but instead send phone text messages to their fellow students. Writing by hand will soon become a thing of the past…

Which is more important to you – the first or last bag?

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It never ceases to amaze me. You’re at an airport, you check-in and then wave goodbye to your luggage. When you arrive at your destination you expect your luggage to arrive on the luggage carousel at the same time you.

I met an old friend last week who was telling me about a situation he faced a few years ago when working on a project at an airport.

The aim of the project was to improve the business process of unloading the bags from the plane and getting them onto the luggage carousel.

This is something we take for granted but the logistics involved are not always that simple and passengers can quickly get frustrated if they don’t get their luggage within a few minutes.

One of the Key Performance Indicators (KPI’s) in place to measure the efficiency of the process was the time it took to get the first piece of luggage from the plane to the luggage carousel.

Now whilst this may sound like a sensible KPI, it was also used to determine the bonus that the luggage handlers would get (the quicker the luggage was delivered the higher the bonus).

Unfortunately for the management of the airport it was also open to abuse.

It may seem obvious now but what was happening was that the baggage handlers were getting the fittest member of their team to literally grab a bag from the hold of the plane and run to the carousel so that the time between landing and the “first luggage on the carousel” was minimal.

Meanwhile, all of the remaining pieces of luggage would be unloaded at a much slower pace.

The end result was happy baggage handlers but unhappy passengers!

Needless to say management soon identified this and the KPI was changed so that it was now the time taken to unload the last bag rather than the first bag that was important.

Is this the new face of Ernst & Young?

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I guess we’ve all done it at some time or another.

We’ve woken up one morning and due to too much work (or too much drink…) you look in the mirror and think “oh dear” (or some similar but slightly stronger words).

Well step forward Mr Ed Moyse and Mr Ross Harper who when they looked in the mirror recently saw the Ernst & Young logo staring back at them.

Now this wasn’t a drunken night out at an EY party that went wrong. No, it was a deliberate move.

The two entrepreneurial university students were thinking of ways to reduce the student debt that they had built up when they came up with the idea of using their faces as mobile advertising screens.

They set up their website – buymyface.com – and are selling their “advertising board” faces for one year.

One of their first clients was EY who paid them to display the EY logo on their faces during a skiing trip to the Alps so that EY could advertise to potential new recruits.

The idea seems to have caught on and according to their website as of today they have raised £34,000 from selling their unusual advertising boards.

Their going rate for a day’s advertising on their faces has also increased since they started their business.  They are now charging £600 for a day’s advertising.

EY seem to be so impressed with them that they have now become the main sponsor of the website.

Does this mean that at some stage in the future your accountants “uniform” of dark suit and white shirt will be accompanied by the corporate logo painted on your face?

Not the best way to start a presentation…

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The IT guys I’ve met in my career have all been very nice people. Admittedly they all seem to be slightly mad and do tend to talk in a strange language with lots of mentions of “coding this and coding that”.

To be fair though they all probably think I’m slightly mad when I talk to fellow finance people in my strange language about “SOCI this and SOFP that”.

If you talk to your IT colleagues though one thing that they tend to take very seriously is the level of security.

Now whilst there are lots of higher level security precautions present such as firewalls and anti-virus programmes there are also some more simple precautions that you should take.

Memory sticks (or USB or flash drives as they are sometime known) can all contain confidential documents and most memory sticks are not password protected.

It pays to double check what’s on the memory stick you’re carrying around with you in case it contains confidential documents and you lose it.

In a similar vein it’s always worth checking what other files are on your flash drive if you’re about to make a presentation.

Unfortunately for Father Martin McVeigh, a Catholic priest in Northern Ireland, he didn’t check what other files were on the flash drive he was going to use when he recently did a presentation to some parents of children at a local primary school.

According to media reports, whilst loading up his presentation for the parents, Father McVeigh inadvertently showed a slideshow of indecent pornographic images onto a screen.

The x-rated slideshow was on the memory stick that Father McVeigh had put into the computer to load up his intended presentation.

Father McVeigh was understandably a bit shocked at seeing the naked pictures on the screen (although to be fair probably not as shocked as the parents in the audience were) and according to the BBC website he was “visibly shaken” and “bolted out of the room”.

He later stated that he didn’t know how the images got onto the memory stick.

And the morale of the story?

Well, I guess that IT security is not just the higher level technical areas but also the more simple areas such as making sure you know what else is on your memory stick…

Fast food or slow drinks?

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What price should you charge for your products?

As any professional business qualification student knows, there are several different pricing strategies that can be used when setting the price for your product.

vodkaYou could for example base it on the internal factors of how much it costs you to produce (cost plus pricing) or you could use external factors such as how much a customer is willing to pay for it (perceived value pricing).

So if you owned a cafe what pricing strategy would you use?

Well over in Moscow in Russia a new cafe has taken an unusual approach to pricing.

The trendy Babochki Anticafé does not charge for food and drink. Instead the customers are charged according to the time they spend at the cafe.

Customers pay one ruble and 50 kopecks for each minute they spend at the cafe. This works out at approximately £2 per hour.

Now this got the accountant in me thinking as I must admit that I am partial to the occasional social drink and there are some very good Russian vodkas out there.

A pleasant evening spent drinking some of the top (and very expensive) Russian vodkas at £2 per hour seems like a good deal (even allowing for the charge for the time when I fall asleep in the cafe at the end of the evening)

Alas for anybody thinking of grabbing a drinking bargain the refreshments are limited to tea, coffee and deserts.

Still, it’s certainly a novel approach to pricing food and drink and we wish the Anticafé well.

Is it better to be loyal or disloyal?

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We’ve all heard of the big coffee chains such as Starbucks and Costa Coffee and with their growth over recent years it’s become more and more difficult for the smaller independent coffee shops to compete.

Over in Singapore though a novel approach to competing with these “coffee shop big boys” has just been introduced.

Lots of businesses have a “loyalty card” programme whereby people earn various points each time they spend money with a company. They can then use these points to buy various items with the company.

The giant Tesco supermarket chain for example has one of the largest loyalty card schemes in the UK whereby “Tesco points” can be used to purchase Tesco products. Most international airlines also have loyalty programmes such as Sky team and Star Alliance where the points earned can be exchanged for free flights.

Antic Studios, a creative agency in Singapore has just come up with a new concept and it’s a “disloyalty card”.

The aim is to help a group of 8 smaller independent coffee shops in Singapore develop.

The idea is that an individual picks up a disloyalty card at one of the independent coffee shops. If they then visit the other 7 independent shops they get their card stamped and can then return to the original coffee shop to claim their free drink.

It’s a novel way of smaller companies who are in effect in competition with each other joining together to create awareness of themselves and encouraging people to try them out instead of staying with the big guys.

Smaller competitors working together to create stronger competition against the big coffee chains – a nice idea and well worth discussing over a cup of coffee.

Paper or plastic – which is best?

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Money makes the world go around but does it matter if it’s paper or plastic money?

A few years ago if you looked in your wallet or purse you would probably have seen paper banknotes. Dollars, Euros, pound sterling and other currencies had paper notes of various denominations.

Today though there are 23 countries around the world that use plastic banknotes instead of paper notes.

Canada recently joined the list of plastic note countries and has just launched a plastic $100 note.

Why the switch to plastic notes though as after all the world has managed with paper notes for plenty of time. There are a few reasons for the switch.

Durability is perhaps the major one. The usable life of plastic banknotes for example can be up to 2.5 times longer than the traditional paper note.

There are also better security features on the plastic notes. Sophisticated holograms on plastic banknotes make it more difficult for counterfeit notes to be made.

So with all these benefits why don’t more countries use plastic notes?

On the downside of things, whilst the useful life is longer the initial upfront cost of production can be quite a bit higher with more complex banknote production facilities required.

Some people have also said that plastic notes are more slippery and therefore more difficult to count large amounts of money. To me though this wouldn’t necessarily be a major problem if the large amounts of banknotes that were being counted were mine!

Whichever way you look at it the chances are that over the next few years more and more notes will be plastic rather than paper and for any of you that have pulled a pair of trousers out of the washing machine and found a soggy broken paper banknote in the pocket this can only be a good thing.

Does $300m mean bigger is better?

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Here’s an interesting development. MP3 players such as the iPod Nano are getting smaller and smaller but due to advances in technology the sounds that they emit are getting better and better.

Whilst music fans are appreciating the portability of the smaller MP3 players together with the flexibility of having quality music players on their phones there’s a trend at the moment of the headphones getting bigger and bigger.

It used to be bigger players and smaller headphones but now it’s the other way around.

As is often the case it’s the fashion conscious younger generation that are driving the change.

HMV, the UK chain of music shops where people used to flock to to buy the latest CDs has unsurprisingly seem a dramatic drop in sales of CDs as more and more people are now buying their music online via Apple iTunes for example.

There is some short term hope for HMV though at least in terms of their sales of headphones and it’s been reported that their sales from headphones and other technology will shortly exceed their sales of CDs and DVDs.

Now these headphones aren’t cheap. Some of the better known high end headphone brands such as Dr Dre go for in excess of £350. That’s quite a lot when you consider the iPod Nano that the headphones could be plugged into retails for less than £100.

Manufacturers have started to segment the market nicely for headphones with for example the Bob Marley Reggae inspired “House of Marley” headphone range recently being launched by Bob Marley’s son Julian.

So, what’s next on the horizon in the business world when it comes to headphones?

I mentioned one of the best known brands of headphones Dr Dre earlier and you’ve no doubt heard of HTC which offer very good Smartphones and are in competition to Apple and their iPhone.

Well, earlier this summer HTC paid $300 million for 51% of a US company called Beats Electronics. What’s the main brand that Beats Electronics has? Yep, none other than Dr Dre.

This could be quite a smart move by HTC.

They are building up their technology and design on the Smartphone side of things and by buying Dr Dre they are getting a sudden jump up in headphone technology.

Will this be the sweet sound of success for HTC?

The Big 4 don’t appear to be happy about this…

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We blogged earlier this year about Michel Barnier, the EU internal market commissioner announcing plans to issue new laws which would dramatically impact the “Big 4” (namely Deloitte, Ernst & Young, KPMG and PwC.)

Well, these changes have now got a bit closer as the draft law has just been released.

In an attempt to reduce conflict of interest and to introduce more competition into the industry the main proposal of the draft law includes the requirement for the Big 4 firms to separate their auditing and consulting divisions in the EU.

This is a pretty big issue as in simple terms if the law becomes final it could prevent the Big 4 “audit firms” from providing any non audit related services such as consulting, providing tax advice or running training courses.

This could see a major restructuring of the audit profession.

Other provisions in the draft law include banks being banned from insisting that a company uses a Big 4 firm if they are to be lent money by the bank (at the moment a number of banks make it a requirement for a company to be audited by a Big 4 firm before they will release significant loans.)

There is also a proposed requirement for audit firms to be rotated every 6 to 12 years.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the Big 4 are reported to be against any changes to the current rules (after all as the saying goes, “how many turkeys would vote for Christmas?”).

I’m pretty sure though that the “mid tier group” of auditing firms that are below the Big 4 in terms of size such as BDO, Grant Thornton and Mazars would maybe take a different view to the Big 4 and be in favour of Mr Barnier’s views as this could open up a number of opportunities for them.

Before everyone that works at a Big 4 company starts rushing to rearrange the office furniture though it’s worth noting that the law at the moment is only draft and the EU states and the European Parliament have to provide the final sign off before the law becomes a reality.